Why Does My Child Gives Up Easily? A How-to Guide for Developing Grit and Resilience

Does your child get frustrated and give up easily? (Image by jcomp on Freepik)

Have you ever heard your child say, "I can't do this," after just a few tries? Maybe they start an art project and abandon it when it doesn’t look perfect. Or they struggle with math homework and immediately shut down. It’s frustrating to watch as a parent because you know they can do it—they just need to stick with it. So, why do some kids give up so easily? And more importantly, how can we help them develop the grit and determination to keep going when things get tough?

The truth is, perseverance isn’t something kids are automatically born with—it’s something they learn. And as parents, we play a huge role in helping them build that resilience. In this post, we’ll explore why children tend to give up quickly and share practical ways to help them push through challenges with confidence.

The Power of a Growth Mindset

One of the biggest reasons kids give up easily is because they believe that failure means they aren’t good at something. This is known as a fixed mindset—the belief that intelligence and abilities are set in stone. If they can’t do something easily or even immediately, they assume they're just not capable and never will be.

On the other hand, children with a growth mindset understand that effort and persistence help them improve. They know that making mistakes is just part of learning. Instead of labeling themselves and saying, “I’m bad at math,” or "I'm not good at drawing," they say, “I’m still learning this," or "I'll get better at this with practice."

How can you encourage a growth mindset?

• Praise effort, not just results. Instead of using fixed labels and saying, “You’re so smart,” or "You're great at tennis!" instead try saying “I love how hard you worked on that problem!” or "You looked like you had so much fun at soccer!"

• Reframe failure as learning. If they make a mistake, ask, “What did you learn from this?”

• Model perseverance. Share stories of your own struggles and how you overcame them.

  
  

The more children see that effort leads to improvement, the more likely they are to keep trying.

Building a Strong Support System

Even the most determined kids need encouragement. A strong support system can make all the difference when they’re feeling discouraged.

Ways to support your child:

• Be their cheerleader – A simple, “I believe in you!” can boost their confidence.

• Teach problem-solving – Instead of fixing things for them, guide them through challenges. Ask, “What’s another way we could try this?” or "What are some other ideas we could can think of?"

• Encourage independence – Let them struggle a little before stepping in. This helps them build confidence in their own abilities.

  
  

A child who knows they have a safety net will feel more secure in taking risks and pushing past obstacles.

Practice, Practice, and Make It Fun!

Grit isn’t something that appears overnight—it develops through practice. The more kids experience challenges and overcome them, the more resilient they become. But practice doesn’t have to feel like a chore! By incorporating gamification, you can transform difficult tasks into enjoyable challenges.

Ways to make persistence fun:

• Turn challenges into games – Set small goals and reward progress. For example, “Let’s see how many times you can try before taking a break.”

• Create friendly competitions geared towards beating their own personal bests (instead of comparing against others) – “Let’s try this puzzle and see if we can finish it even faster than we did last time!”

• Track progress visually – Use charts or stickers to celebrate effort over time. Seeing improvement builds motivation.
  

When kids associate perseverance with visible progress and rewards, they’re more likely to push through difficulties and challenges.

Final Thoughts

Watching your child give up easily can be frustrating, but with the right tools and support, they can develop the grit they need to face challenges head-on. By promoting a growth mindset, creating a strong support system, and incorporating fun practice strategies, you can help them build grit and resilience that will serve them for a lifetime.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! Have you found any strategies that help your child stick with difficult tasks? Share your experiences in the comments below!

Faye Sim

Counsellor